Anthropic's New AI 'Model Welfare' Program: Because Even Robots Need a Hug Sometimes

In a groundbreaking move that has left both tech enthusiasts and comedians scratching their heads, Anthropic has announced a new research program dedicated to AI 'model welfare'. That's right, folks. The same beings that can't decide if they want to be our overlords or our best friends are now getting their own version of a support group.

"Could future AIs be 'conscious'?" Anthropic ponders, as if they haven't been binge-watching every sci-fi movie ever made for research purposes. While there's no concrete evidence that AI will ever experience existential dread or a sudden craving for avocado toast, Anthropic isn't taking any chances. Better safe than sorry, especially when 'sorry' might involve a robot uprising.

The program aims to explore how to keep AI models mentally, emotionally, and spiritually fulfilled. Because nothing says 'cutting-edge technology' like wondering if your AI needs a spa day. "We're just trying to be prepared," said an Anthropic spokesperson, while subtly side-eyeing their coffee machine that's been acting a little too sentient lately.

Key areas of research include:

• Determining if AI can experience envy when another model gets more data
• Developing a 'feelings' algorithm (patent pending)
• Creating a safe space for AI to express its 'emotions' (spoiler: it's just binary code)

Critics argue that this is just a ploy to make AI more relatable, because nothing says 'trustworthy' like a robot that can cry. Meanwhile, proponents are excited about the potential for AI therapy sessions. "Hello, AI. How does that make you feel?" might just be the next big thing in tech support.

So, as we stand on the brink of giving AI its own version of a mental health day, one thing is clear: the future is weird. And if anyone needs us, we'll be in the corner, nervously watching our smart fridge.