Anthropic to Gov: 'Cool AI Chip Restrictions, But Can We Add Some RGB Lighting?'

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Anthropic has come forward with its groundbreaking suggestions for the U.S. government's proposed AI chip export controls. Because what's a tech company without its two cents, right?

The company, in a blog post that definitely didn't take three coffee-fueled all-nighters to write, expressed its "strong support" for the restrictions. But, like a kid asked to eat their vegetables, they had a few tiny requests. "We're all for not giving China the keys to the AI kingdom," Anthropic said, "but can we at least make the chips look cooler? Maybe some RGB lighting?"

Further diving into their list of demands, Anthropic suggested that the U.S. Department of Commerce consider adding a "No China" sticker to each chip. "It's simple, effective, and adds a personal touch," the blog post read. Critics, however, argue that a sticker might not be enough and propose a full-on Fort Knox style vault for the chips instead.

But the pièce de résistance of Anthropic's suggestions was the proposal to encode the chips with "Only for non-world-domination purposes" in the firmware. "It's just good manners," the company quipped, ignoring the fact that firmware messages have historically stopped exactly zero nefarious activities.

As the tech world waits with bated breath (or more likely, forgets about this by lunch), one thing is clear: the AI race is heating up, and it's got all the subtlety of a Transformers movie. Stay tuned for the next episode of "As the Silicon Turns."