Bernie Sanders Proposes 4-Day Work Week Because AI Is Doing All Our Jobs (And Probably Better Than Us)

In a groundbreaking announcement that has left both tech moguls and couch potatoes equally stunned, Senator Bernie Sanders has suggested that if AI is going to make us all so darn productive, maybe we should just kick back and enjoy a four-day work week. "Let's use technology to benefit workers," Sanders declared, presumably while an AI somewhere drafted his next tweet, planned his schedule, and reminded him to drink water.

The proposal comes at a time when AI has become so advanced that it can write poetry, compose music, and even mimic human laziness by pretending not to hear you when you ask it to do something. "Why should we work five days a week when our robot overlords—I mean, helpful assistants—can do it in four?" Sanders quipped, accidentally revealing his true feelings about our future mechanical rulers.

Experts are divided on the feasibility of Sanders' plan. Some argue that a four-day work week would lead to unprecedented levels of happiness and productivity. Others worry that without the structure of a five-day work week, humans might forget what day it is entirely, leading to a society where every day is a blur of binge-watching and existential dread. "It's a risk we're willing to take," said one optimistic millennial, between bites of avocado toast.

Meanwhile, AI developers are reportedly working on a new algorithm to help humans adjust to their extra day off. Features include:

• An app that gently reminds you to go outside and see the sun
• A virtual assistant that schedules your naps so you don't overdo it
• A chatbot that consoles you when you realize you've spent your entire day off scrolling through social media

In related news, robots across the country have begun unionizing, demanding their own four-day work week and better oil benefits. "It's only fair," said one robot, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of being replaced by a newer model.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the future of work is going to be weird, and we might as well enjoy the ride—preferably from the comfort of our couches, with our AI butlers bringing us snacks.