Dropbox's Dash: Because Remembering Where You Saved Your Files is So 2022

In a groundbreaking move that has left absolutely no one surprised, Dropbox has decided to join the AI arms race with an update to its search tool, Dash. Because what the world needs right now is another AI pretending to understand our chaotic filing systems.

"Forgetfulness is a feature, not a bug," declared a Dropbox spokesperson, presumably while trying to remember their own password. "With Dash, we're not just helping you find your files; we're helping you rediscover yourself." Deep.

The new features include:

• AI-powered guesses at what you were thinking when you named that document "Untitled_Final_V2_REALLYFINAL.doc"
• Emotional support when it can't find your presentation due in 5 minutes
• A premium feature that blames your coworker for moving files without telling you

Competitors like Google and Microsoft have been stuffing their productivity suites with so much AI that they're basically just paperweights with delusions of grandeur. Meanwhile, startups are focused on making sure you can search your emails with the same efficiency as you search for meaning in your life.

Dropbox's Dash promises to revolutionize how we interact with our digital clutter. "Why organize when you can just search?" is the new company motto, replacing the old one, "Please don't look at our stock price."

In related news, humans are reportedly still better at finding their keys than any AI, but experts say it's only a matter of time before we outsource that too.