Dropouts' 'Always-On' AI Glasses Record Your Life, Whether You Like It or Not – Privacy Is So Last Decade

In a stunning display of innovation that makes Big Brother look like a casual observer, two erstwhile Harvard students have decided to forgo higher education in favor of higher surveillance. Meet the masterminds behind 'EavesDrop Glasses', the latest must-have accessory for anyone who's ever thought, 'I wish my eyewear could violate my privacy 24/7.'

After a brief stint at Meta where they developed a facial recognition app that accidentally doxxed half of Cambridge, these geniuses realized that identifying people wasn't enough—they needed to record their every whisper, too. 'Why stop at faces when you can capture souls?' quipped one founder, who requested anonymity because, ironically, he values his own privacy.

The 'always-on' microphone is the star of the show here, ensuring that no conversation, no matter how mundane, goes unlogged. 'Imagine never forgetting your partner's birthday again because the glasses remind you based on that argument you had last week,' the promotional material gushes. It's like having a personal assistant, if your assistant were a nosy neighbor with a penchant for blackmail.

But wait, there's more! These glasses come equipped with AI that not only listens but also offers real-time commentary. 'I detected sarcasm in that last sentence—would you like me to save it for your future comedy routine?' the AI might say, proving that machines are just as judgmental as humans, only with better memory.

Privacy advocates are, unsurprisingly, up in arms. One critic called it 'a dystopian nightmare wrapped in designer frames,' to which the founders responded, 'Dystopia is so 2020. We're calling it 'ambient awareness.'' Because nothing says 'awareness' like secretly recording your friends' hot takes on the latest Netflix series.

In a move that screams 'we learned nothing from our previous debacles,' the glasses are set to launch with a beta test in coffee shops nationwide. Early adopters report thrilling experiences, such as the AI mistaking a barista's order for a national security threat and alerting the authorities. 'It added excitement to my latte,' one user raved.

Priced at a cool $999, these glasses are not just a tech gadget; they're a statement. A statement that says, 'I have no boundaries, and neither should you.' So, if you're tired of forgetting what you said in that heated debate, or if you just want to relive your most awkward moments in high definition, EavesDrop Glasses are for you. After all, in the words of the founders, 'If you're not recording it, did it even happen?'