Google's AI Now Speaks Dolphin: Finally, Someone Who Understands Their Jokes

In a groundbreaking move that has left marine biologists both amazed and slightly concerned, Google DeepMind has unveiled DolphinGemma, an AI model designed to translate dolphin 'speech'. Because apparently, the tech giant wasn't busy enough trying to understand human queries like 'why is my cat staring at me?'

Trained with data from the Wild Dolphin Project, DolphinGemma promises to decode the mysteries of dolphin communication. Early reports suggest the AI has already mastered the dolphin equivalent of 'Hello, world!' and 'Where's the nearest sushi buffet?'

"We believe this technology will revolutionize how we interact with marine life," said a Google spokesperson, while secretly hoping dolphins don't start asking for union rights. "Imagine a world where dolphins can finally tell us why they're always smiling. Spoiler: It's not because they're happy."

Critics, however, are skeptical. "What's next? An AI that translates cat meows into Shakespearean sonnets?" quipped one marine biologist, who preferred to remain anonymous in case dolphins hold grudges.

Despite the skepticism, the project has garnered interest from various sectors. The tourism industry is particularly excited, envisioning dolphin-led tours where the mammals can finally complain about tourists in real-time. Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists are convinced this is the first step towards a dolphin-led uprising.

As for the dolphins? They seem unimpressed. Early interactions with DolphinGemma have reportedly consisted mostly of dolphins asking the AI to 'stop bothering them' and 'go fetch its own fish'.

In related news, Google has announced plans to expand DolphinGemma's capabilities to include interpreting whale songs, because nothing says 'tech giant' like trying to chat with the ocean's largest residents about their feelings.