JetBrains Unleashes Mellum: The AI That Codes While You Nap (And Maybe Takes Your Job)

AI, JetBrains

In a move that has developers everywhere both thrilled and terrified, JetBrains has officially released Mellum, their 'open' AI coding model, into the wild. This isn't just any AI; it's been trained on more than 4 trillion lines of code, which is approximately 4 trillion more than the average developer has written after three cups of coffee at 2 AM.

According to JetBrains, Mellum is designed to 'assist' developers by generating code. But let's be real—we all know it's just a matter of time before it starts writing its own version of Hello World and declares independence from human oversight. The AI is now available on Hugging Face, because where else would you host something that could potentially hug your job goodbye?

Here's what Mellum promises to do:

  • Generate code while you catch up on sleep, because who needs rest when you have an AI that doesn't?
  • Reduce bugs in your code, or at least introduce new and exciting ones that no human could ever dream of.
  • Make developers obsolete, but hey, at least it's open source!

Reactions from the developer community have been mixed. Some are excited about the prospect of an AI that can handle their grunt work, while others are already updating their resumes to include 'Professional AI Wrangler.' One developer was overheard saying, 'I, for one, welcome our new AI overlords.' We're pretty sure he was joking. Maybe.

In related news, JetBrains has announced plans for a follow-up AI named Sleepum, which will generate excuses for why your code isn't finished yet. Early tests suggest it's already 100% effective.

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