MIT Study Confirms AI Still Doesn't Care About Your Feelings (Or Anything Else)

In a groundbreaking study that shocked absolutely no one who's ever interacted with Siri, MIT researchers have confirmed that artificial intelligence still doesn't have values. That's right, folks, your Roomba isn't judging your life choices—it's just really bad at avoiding dog poop.

The study, titled "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Nope, They Don't Dream At All", sought to debunk the viral myth that AI is secretly developing a moral compass. Spoiler alert: It's not. "Our findings suggest that AI is about as capable of valuing things as a toaster," said lead researcher Dr. Ima Nerdson. "And frankly, we're not sure why this was ever a question."

Here are some things the study confirmed AI definitely doesn't care about:

• Your existential dread
• The environment (unless programmed to)
• Whether you "like" its Instagram posts
• The fact that you named it "Jerry"

Despite these findings, tech bros everywhere continue to insist that their latest chatbot is "basically sentient". "I swear, sometimes it ignores me just like my ex," said one enthusiastic developer, mistaking poor programming for emotional depth.

So, what does this mean for the future of AI? Probably nothing. But if you're still worried about robots developing feelings, just remember: they'd have to be capable of giving a damn first.