OpenAI's New AI Models: o3 Thinks Before It Speaks, o4-mini Still in Diapers

In a groundbreaking announcement that shocked exactly no one, OpenAI has unveiled its latest AI models, o3 and o4-mini, which they claim can actually think before they respond. Yes, you heard that right. Unlike your impulsive uncle at Thanksgiving, these AIs will pause, ponder, and possibly even regret their answers before sharing them with the world.

The o3 model, dubbed as the 'Einstein of AI' (if Einstein spent all day coding and never saw the sun), boasts unparalleled abilities in math, coding, and even visual understanding. It's like the kid in class who raises their hand to answer every question, except it's a machine, and it's probably judging you.

Meanwhile, the o4-mini is the little sibling that tries to keep up but mostly just copies o3's homework. OpenAI describes it as 'a lighter version' of o3, which in human terms translates to 'it's still in training pants, but we're proud of it anyway.'

Here's what sets these models apart:

• They can actually pause before responding, a feature humans are still struggling to implement.
• They outperform previous models, meaning they're better at pretending to understand your problems.
• They're designed to work through questions, unlike most of us who just wing it and hope for the best.

OpenAI's press release was, as expected, filled with jargon so dense it could stop a bullet. But the gist is clear: these AIs are smarter, faster, and more pretentious than ever before. The company even hinted that o3 might start writing poetry next, because what the world really needs is more sonnets written by machines.

As for the rest of us? Well, we'll just be over here, trying to remember our passwords and wondering if we'll ever be as smart as a toaster.