OpenAI's Stargate: The Galactic Domination Tour Now Accepting Applications from Earthlings

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI's Stargate project, the $500 billion brainchild of tech's most ambitious (or delusional) minds, is now eyeing international expansion. Because why stop at merely revolutionizing AI in the U.S. when you can confuse and amaze the entire world?

According to sources who probably overheard someone talking in a very expensive coffee shop, Stargate is considering spreading its AI-infused wisdom to the U.K. and beyond. Because nothing says "global unity" like a superintelligent AI deciding it's time to take over the world's data centers.

But wait, there's more! The project, initially dubbed "Operation: Let's Make the U.S. Even More Tech-Obsessed," is now rebranding as "Operation: Let's See If the Rest of the World Can Handle Our AI Shenanigans."

Here's what we know so far:

• The U.K. is first on the list, presumably because they miss being part of something big since Brexit.
• The AI data centers will be so advanced that they'll probably start writing their own satirical articles soon.
• Oracle and SoftBank are still involved, because someone has to foot the bill for this intergalactic tech party.

Critics argue that spending $500 billion on AI infrastructure might be a tad excessive, especially when that money could buy approximately 500 billion cups of coffee—enough to keep every programmer awake until the heat death of the universe.

But OpenAI remains undeterred. "We're not just building data centers," said a spokesperson, while staring ominously into the middle distance. "We're building the future. Also, possibly Skynet. But mostly the future."

So, as Stargate prepares to boldly go where no AI has gone before, the rest of us can only watch, wait, and wonder: will this be the dawn of a new era, or just another overpriced tech boondoggle? Only time—and probably the AI—will tell.