Startups Weekly: The Blockbuster Nobody Asked For - Rippling's Espionage Saga

Welcome to Startups Weekly, the only newsletter that promises to deliver less news and more drama than your average soap opera. This week, we're diving into the thrilling world of corporate espionage, or as we like to call it, "Rippling: The Movie Nobody Wanted".

Imagine this: a startup so mysterious, it makes the Bermuda Triangle look like an open book. That's right, folks, Rippling has been quietly acquiring companies, presumably with the stealth of a ninja and the transparency of a lead balloon. It's the kind of behavior that makes you wonder if they're plotting world domination or just really bad at PR.

But wait, there's more! Rumor has it that their next move is to release a movie about their "espionage" tactics. We're envisioning a cinematic masterpiece where the protagonist spends two hours silently acquiring competitors, with a dramatic score every time they sign an NDA. Oscar-worthy? Absolutely not. Hilarious? You bet.

In other news, startups are continuing their tradition of sharing as little information as possible, leaving us to piece together their strategies like we're solving a puzzle blindfolded. It's a bold strategy, Cotton—let's see if it pays off for them.

So, if you're looking for a dose of startup drama with a side of absurdity, you're in the right place. And remember, in the world of startups, the only thing more surprising than the news is the fact that anyone still believes their launch dates.