Waymo's New AI: Now Watching You Pick Your Nose AND Sell You Ads About It

In a move that surprises absolutely no one who's been paying attention to the dystopian trajectory of tech, Waymo has decided that its robotaxis aren't just for ferrying you from point A to point B anymore. Oh no, they're also for ferrying your personal data straight into the gaping maw of generative AI models. Thanks to a leaked privacy policy draft, we now know that Waymo's interior cameras aren't just there to ensure you don't spill your latte on their seats—they're also there to study your every move.

According to the fine print that no one reads (but probably should), Waymo is considering using footage of you picking your nose, singing off-key to 'Bohemian Rhapsody', or having awkward first dates to train their AI. Because nothing says 'cutting-edge technology' like an AI that knows exactly how many times you've ugly-cried in the back of a self-driving car.

But wait, there's more! Waymo might also share this goldmine of intrusive footage with advertisers. That's right, folks. Soon, you might see ads for tissues popping up on your phone after the car catches you in a sob session. Or perhaps a discreet ad for breath mints after that garlic-heavy lunch. The possibilities are endless, and by 'endless', we mean 'horrifying'.

In related news, human dignity is now officially listed as 'endangered'. Experts suggest that if current trends continue, it may go extinct by 2025, replaced entirely by hyper-personalized ads and AI that knows you better than your therapist.

So next time you hail a Waymo, remember: you're not just a passenger. You're a walking, talking data point, and your most embarrassing moments are just training fodder for the machine overlords. Enjoy the ride!