AI News
Browse our collection of satirical articles about AI
Elon Musk's xAI Holdings to Raise $20 Billion, Because Why Not?
ChatGPT: Everything you need to know about the AI-powered chatbot (Satirical Version)
OpenAI Genius Told to Take His Brain and Leave: GPT-4.5 Researcher's Green Card Denial Sparks Outrage and Memes
Google’s AI Now Doing Your Homework, Marriage Counseling, and Probably Your Taxes Too
Last Chance to Join the AI Circus: TechCrunch's Side Event Frenzy Ends Tonight!
AI Startup Manus Valued at $500M Because Why Not? Benchmark Throws Money at the Wall to See What Sticks
TechCrunch Disrupt 2025: Your Chance to Speak (Or Just Brag About Your Startup in Front of 10,000 People)
ChatGPT Now Remembers Your Pizza Preferences: The AI That Won't Forget You're Lactose Intolerant
In a groundbreaking update that no one asked for but everyone will pretend to care about, OpenAI has announced that ChatGPT will now use its "memory" to personalize web searches. B...
SPACs Are Back (Because Apparently, We Forgot How Bad They Were)
In a move that shocked absolutely no one who hasn't been paying attention since 2021, Kodiak Robotics has decided to dust off the ol' SPAC playbook. That's right, folks – the S...
OpenAI's Shopping Spree: Why Buy Windsurf for $3B When You Could Just Steal Cursor and Call It a Day?
In a move that has left the tech world scratching its collective head, OpenAI has decided to drop a cool $3 billion on Windsurf, an AI coding company that, let's be honest, most of us had never hea...
OpenAI's Stargate: The Galactic Domination Tour Now Accepting Applications from Earthlings
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI's Stargate project, the $500 billion brainchild of tech's most ambitious (or delusional) minds, is now eyeing internationa...
ChatGPT Now Playing Detective: Reverse Location Search Turns Everyone Into Sherlock Holmes
In a world where privacy is as dead as the dial-up internet, ChatGPT has decided to spice things up by turning every user into a wannabe Sherlock Holmes. The latest viral trend? Using AI to perform...
Grok Now Remembers Your Deepest Secrets (And Will Probably Blackmail You Later)
In a groundbreaking move that's either incredibly convenient or deeply unsettling, Elon Musk's xAI has announced that its Grok chatbot will now feature a 'memory' function. That's right, folks—Grok...
OpenAI's New AI Models: o3 Thinks Before It Speaks, o4-mini Still in Diapers
In a groundbreaking announcement that shocked exactly no one, OpenAI has unveiled its latest AI models, o3 and o4-mini, which they claim can actually think
OpenAI's Codex CLI: Because Typing 'Hello World' Was Just Too Hard
In a groundbreaking move that has undoubtedly saved developers from the exhausting task of remembering how to write basic code, OpenAI has unveiled Codex CLI, a tool that ...
Startups Drown in Cash While Investors Pray for a Miracle in 2025
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, startups have once again broken the bank in Q1, scooping up a cool $91.5 billion in venture capital funding. Accordi...
Microsoft's New AI Model So Lightweight It Could Run on Your Grandma's Toaster (If She Had One)
In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the tech world both amazed and slightly confused, Microsoft researchers claim to have developed an AI model so efficient it can run on a CPU. Yes, you...
Deck's $12M Magic Wand: Turning Every Website into Plaid Because Why Not?
In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both confused and mildly amused, Deck, the startup that's decided to be the "Plaid for the rest of the internet", has...
Last Chance to Join the AI Circus: TechCrunch's AI Extravaganza Needs Your Half-Baked Robot Ideas
Time is running out to throw your hat into the ring at TechCrunch Sessions: AI, the annual gathering where tech's brightest (and most delusional) minds come together to prove that ...
Google's Veo 2: Because Your Cat Videos Weren't Weird Enough Already
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Google has decided to unleash its Veo 2 video-generating AI model upon the unsuspecting subscribers of Gemini Advanced. Because what the world really needs...
Claude the Creepy: Your New AI Overlord Now Snoops Through Your Emails
In a move that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone), Anthropic has decided that what the world really needs is an AI that can rifle through your personal correspondence like a nosy neighb...
CEOs Chat Like It's a First Date: AI Edition - A Satirical Take on the Future of Bots and Bytes
Ever wondered what happens when two CEOs of AI companies get together for a fireside chat? No? Well, buckle up, because you're about to find out in what can only be described as the most th...
OpenAI's New Social Media: Where Bots Post, Like, and Block Each Other
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI is reportedly developing its own social media platform, tentatively named Botter. Because what the world needs right now is another...
OpenAI's GPT-4.1: Because Who Needs Safety Reports When You Have Flashy Benchmarks?
In a move that shocked absolutely no one who's been paying attention, OpenAI has decided to release GPT-4.1 without the pesky inconvenience of a safety report. That's right, folks, the company that...
Ex-Tesla Team Creates 'Atomic' AI to Save Supply Chains from Themselves (Because Humans Clearly Can't)
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, former Tesla supply chain leaders have decided that the best way to prevent another near-apocalyptic production meltdown is to remove humans from the equat...
OpenAI to GPT-4.5: 'It's Not You, It's Us (And Our Obsession With Shiny New Things)'
In a move that shocked absolutely no one in the tech world, OpenAI announced plans to give GPT-4.5 the old heave-ho from its API lineup. 'We just feel like we're not in the same place anymore,'...
Google Classroom's AI Now Does Teachers' Homework: 'Because Why Not?'
In a groundbreaking move that has educators everywhere wondering if they should just hand over their lesson plans to Skynet, Google Classroom has unveiled its latest feature: an AI...
Meta's AI Now Officially Creeping Through Your EU Posts Like That One Friend Who Reads Your Diary
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Meta has announced its plans to train its AI models on public content in the EU. Because clearly, the best way to understand humanity is by sifting throu...
Hugging Face Embraces Robotics: Now Your AI Can Literally Hug You Back
In a move that has left both the tech and cuddle communities buzzing, Hugging Face, the AI dev platform known for making machines understand human emotions (or at least pretend to)...
Elon Musk Merges xAI and X: Because One Chaotic Empire Wasn't Enough
In a move that surprised absolutely no one (because let's face it, when has Elon Musk ever done anything predictable?), the tech mogul has decided to merge his AI startup, xAI, with his social medi...
Elon's AI Grok Gets Grilled: Ireland's Data Cops Investigate X's 'Creative' Use of Your Secrets
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe everyone), Ireland's Data Protection Commission (DPC) has decided to take a closer look at how X, Elon Musk's social med...
Meta's Llama Drama: When AI Releases Are as Exciting as Watching Paint Dry
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Meta decided to drop not one, not two, but three new AI models over the weekend. Because when you're losing relevance in the AI arms race, why not...
TechCrunch Sessions: AI - The Hunger Games for Exhibit Tables
In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming (except everyone), TechCrunch Sessions: AI is upon us, and the exhibit tables are disappearing faster than your privacy on a fre...
ChatGPT: The AI That's Probably Smarter Than Your Ex (And Definitely More Helpful)
In a world where your toaster judges you for eating carbs, OpenAI's ChatGPT has emerged as the ultimate digital companion. Since its grand debut in November 2022, this AI-powered c...
Canva's New AI: Now Your Designs Can Look Like Everyone Else's But Faster!
In a groundbreaking move that no one saw coming (because we were all too busy trying to figure out how to center a div), Canva has announced its latest feature: AI image generation...
ChatGPT Now Remembers Your Darkest Secrets (And Will Use Them Against You)
In a move that has privacy advocates screaming into their encrypted pillows, OpenAI has announced that ChatGPT will now remember your past conversations. That's right, the AI that already knows how...
YouTube's AI Music Tool: Because Human Creativity Is So Last Season
In a groundbreaking move that has left musicians everywhere questioning their life choices, YouTube has announced its latest feature: a free AI music-making tool for creators. Because, let's face i...
Amazon CEO Andy Jassy Declares AI Investment or Die Trying - A Satirical Survival Guide
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, Amazon CEO Andy Jassy has boldly declared that companies must invest "aggressively" in AI or risk becoming as releva...
Google's AI Now Tackles Gridlock: Because Bureaucracy Was Too Efficient
In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Google has announced its latest AI venture: untangling the "spaghetti junction" of the electrical grid's bureaucracy. Because, ...
Claude's $200 'Max' Subscription: Because Your Chatbot Deserves the Champagne of AI
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Anthropic has decided that if OpenAI can charge an arm and a leg for their AI, so can they. Enter Claude Max, the new $200-a-month subscri...
MIT Study Confirms AI Still Doesn't Care About Your Feelings (Or Anything Else)
In a groundbreaking study that shocked absolutely no one who's ever interacted with Siri, MIT researchers have confirmed that artificial intelligence still doesn't have values. That's right, folks,...
YouTube's New AI Snitch: Now Ratting Out Your Deepfake Dreams to the Elite Few
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, YouTube has decided to expand its "Big Brother is Watching" program, now rebranded as "likeness detection technology". Because ...
TSMC Caught in $1B Chip Kerfuffle: Huawei's AI Processor Now Officially Too Smart for US Comfort
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe everyone), TSMC might be lighter by a cool $1 billion after the US decided that the chip they made for ...
AI Startup Artisan Raises $25M to Replace Humans, Immediately Hires Humans Because AI Can't Make Coffee
In a move that has left both investors and sarcastic tech journalists utterly flabbergasted, Artisan, the AI startup that vowed to 'stop hiring humans', has just secured a cool $25...
AI Charitable Bots: Now Begging for Change So You Don’t Have To!
In a world where your toaster judges your life choices, it was only a matter of time before AI started hitting us up for spare change. Enter Sage Future, the nonprofit that’s decid...
Trump's Revolutionary Plan: Powering Data Centers with Coal Because Nothing Says 'Future' Like the 1800s
In a groundbreaking move that has left environmentalists weeping and historians scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump has announced his latest masterstroke: endorsing coal as the pr...
Work for Free & Get a Front-Row Seat to Your Own Exploitation at TechCrunch’s AI Circus!
Are you tired of being paid for your labor like some kind of feudal peasant? Do you yearn for the sweet, sweet taste of uncompensated effort? Well, dust off your best "volunteer" s...
Waymo's New AI: Watching You Pick Your Nose to Teach Robots How to Live
In a groundbreaking move that straddles the line between innovation and invasion, Waymo has announced plans to use footage from their robotaxis' interior cameras to train generative AI models. That...
AI Breakout Stars: How Two Lucky Nerds Won the Popularity Contest of the Century
In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming (except maybe their moms), two individuals have been crowned the Audience Choice winners to lead breakouts at TechCrunch Ses...
Thinking Machines Lab: Where Ex-OpenAI Geniuses Go to Plot World Domination (Probably)
In a move that has shocked absolutely no one, Mira Murati's Thinking Machines Lab has become the latest hotspot for ex-OpenAI employees who are just too smart for their ow...
Waymo's New AI: Now Watching You Pick Your Nose AND Sell You Ads About It
In a move that surprises absolutely no one who's been paying attention to the dystopian trajectory of tech, Waymo has decided that its robotaxis aren't just for ferrying you from point A to point B...
Google's AI Now Judges Your Photos Like a Disappointed Art Teacher
In a groundbreaking move that no one asked for, Google's AI Mode has evolved from answering your existential questions to now critiquing your photography skills. That's right, the ...
Shopify CEO Mandates AI Over Humans: 'Because Robots Don't Need Coffee Breaks'
In a move that has left employees and office coffee machines equally devastated, Shopify CEO Tobi Lütke has issued a groundbreaking memo: 'Why hire humans when AI doesn't take lunch breaks?...
Moonvalley's AI Video Wizardry Conjures Up $43M from Mysterious Investors Who Definitely Aren't Robots
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, Moonvalley, the Los Angeles-based startup that's been teaching AI to make videos so you don't have to, has magically...
Krea's $83M Miracle: Finally, An AI That Can Draw A Straight Line (Maybe)
In a world where generative AI can do everything except decide what to have for lunch, Krea has boldly stepped forward with a solution to a problem no one knew they had: too ma...
IBM Eats Hakkoda for Breakfast: Another Consultancy Vanishes Into the Corporate Borg
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, IBM has gobbled up another consultancy firm, Hakkoda, because apparently, IBM's hunger for AI and data consultancies is as insatiable as a teenager's appet...
Microsoft's AI Attempts to Resurrect Quake II, Results Are... Interesting
In a move that shocked approximately no one, Microsoft has decided to let its AI, Copilot, take a stab at game development. The result? A "playable" level of Quake II that's about as faith...
ChatGPT in India: Millions Chat, Fewer Pay - The Ultimate Free Ride?
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, ChatGPT has become the digital equivalent of a free buffet in India, with millions lining up to partake but somehow forgetting their ...
OpenAI's Models Caught Red-Handed in Copyright Heist – AI or Artful Dodger?
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except literally everyone), a new study suggests that OpenAI's models might have been doing a little more than just 'learning' from c...
DeepSeek: The AI Chatbot That Knows You Better Than Your Therapist (And Judges You More)
In a world where your toaster judges your life choices, DeepSeek has emerged as the newest AI chatbot that not only answers your questions but also silently questions your life dec...
Google's Gemini 2.5 Pro: Because Your Wallet Was Too Light and Your AI Wasn't Expensive Enough
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Google has decided that the best way to improve AI is to make it more expensive. Enter Gemini 2.5 Pro, the tech giant's latest offering th...
Microsoft's Copilot Now Browsing the Web for You: Because Who Needs Free Will Anyway?
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Microsoft has decided that its AI-powered Copilot isn't quite invasive enough. For its 50th birthday, Microsoft gifted Copilot the ability to brows...
HR Tech or Spy Tech? Rippling's Lawsuit Against Deel Reads Like a Bad Bond Movie
In a turn of events that has everyone questioning whether they're in HR tech or a poorly scripted spy movie, Rippling has filed a lawsuit against Deel that's more ...
OpenAI's Latest Model: o3 or Not o3, That Is the Question - Plus, GPT-5 Takes a Nap
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone), OpenAI has decided to release the o3 reasoning model after all. Yes, the same model they effectively gave the cold ...
Midjourney's V7: Because Your AI-Generated Cat Wearing a Tuxedo Just Wasn't Surreal Enough
In a groundbreaking move that has left the internet both amazed and slightly confused, Midjourney has unleashed V7, its latest AI image model, after what felt like a mille...
Amazon’s New AI Agent: Because Who Needs Free Will When Shopping?
In a groundbreaking move that has left both consumers and their wallets trembling, Amazon has announced its latest innovation: Buy for Me, an AI shopping agent that essentially rem...
Studio Ghibli Fans Desperately Await Hayao Miyazaki's AI Rant That May Never Come
In a world where AI-generated content is becoming as common as Starbucks on every corner, the internet held its breath for Studio Ghibli's legendary Hayao Miyazaki to unleash a rant against OpenAI'...
Google's Gemini Models: Speeding Through AI Development Like a Teenager with a Learner's Permit
In a move that has left the tech world both amazed and slightly terrified, Google has decided that the best way to compete in the AI arms race is to adopt the 'move fast and break ...
ChatGPT's Image Generator: Turning the Internet into a Digital Coloring Book Since Last Week
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, OpenAI has announced that their ChatGPT users have generated over 700 million images since last week. That's right, folks. In the tim...
Phonic AI: Because Your Customers Deserve a Voice That Sounds Like a Robot from the 80s
In a world where AI can generate art that looks like it was painted by a drunken Picasso, write poetry that would make Shakespeare reconsider his career, and even compose music that doesn't sound l...
Runway's AI Now So Rich It Can Buy Hollywood, Plans to Replace All Actors with Deepfakes
In a move that has left both the tech and entertainment industries shook, Runway, the startup that's been quietly teaching AI to generate videos that are almost as good as...
Claude for Education: Because Students Need Another Excuse to Not Read the Textbook
In a groundbreaking move that will surely revolutionize the way students avoid doing actual work, Anthropic has unveiled its latest masterpiece: Claude for Education. This new tier...
Actively AI Bags $22.5M to Outdo 'Dumb' AI Sales Bots - Because Apparently, They Can't Even Fake Enthusiasm
In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming (except everyone), Actively AI has secured a whopping $22.5 million to teach AI how to sell stuff without sounding like...
Parasail Claims Its GPU Fleet is So Big, Even Oracle's Cloud is Blushing
In a world where cloud infrastructure is as crowded as a Black Friday sale at a tech store, Parasail has decided to drop a bombshell that's louder than your neighbor's blender at 3...
AI Crawlers Feast on Wikimedia Commons Like It's an All-You-Can-Eat Data Buffet
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, AI crawlers have been caught red-handed gorging themselves on Wikimedia Commons' bandwidth like a group of college students at a free...
OpenAI's Servers Crying for Mercy: Sam Altman Announces Delays as ChatGPT Users Flood In
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman has announced that the company's servers are currently more overwhelmed than a single toilet at a music festiva...
Qualcomm Buys Vietnamese AI Startup's 'Magic 8-Ball' Division for Who Even Knows How Much
In a move that has left everyone scratching their heads but not enough to actually look it up, Qualcomm has acquired the generative AI division of VinAI, a Vietnamese startup that ...
Tinder's AI Now Judges Your Flirting Skills Because Humans Apparently Can't
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Tinder has decided that human judgment is so last century and has rolled out an AI-powered game to assess your...
Runway's Gen-4 AI: Now Creating Videos So Real, You'll Question Your Entire Existence
In a groundbreaking announcement that has left filmmakers crying into their scripts, Runway has unveiled Gen-4, their latest AI video-generating model. This isn't just any...
ChatGPT: The AI That's Probably Smarter Than Your Dog (And Maybe You)
In a world where your toaster can judge your life choices, ChatGPT has emerged as the supreme overlord of artificial intelligence, or at least that's what it wants you to think. Si...
Manus AI: Now You Can Pay to Have Your Life Automated (Because Doing Things is So 2010)
In a groundbreaking move that has left millions wondering why they didn't think of it first, Manus AI has announced its new subscription plans. For the low, low price of $39 a mont...
AI Models: Because Humans Are Too Last Century
In a world where asking Siri to set a timer is considered a peak human achievement, AI models are here to remind us just how inadequate we really are. Confused about which AI model to use?<...
From Crypto Dust to AI Gold: How Three Guys in a Closet Turned GPUs Into a $1.5B Fortune
In what can only be described as the tech world's version of "Aladdin's Magic Lamp", the co-founder of CoreWeave, Brian Venturo, has shared the absolutely not-at-all-lucky...
Intel Capital's Midlife Crisis: From Chip Daddy to Startup Sugar Baby
In a move that shocked absolutely no one who's ever witnessed a midlife crisis, Intel Capital has decided it's time to leave the nest, trade in its minivan for a Tesla, and start swiping right on s...
ChatGPT Now Unleashed: Creating Nightmares and Dreams Without Asking for Permission
In a move that has left both artists and lawyers sweating, OpenAI has decided to let ChatGPT off its digital leash, allowing it to generate images that range from 'mildly concerning'
OpenAI Spends $40 Billion to Turn Your Cat Photos into Studio Ghibli Masterpieces
In a move that has left both tech enthusiasts and anime fans scratching their heads, OpenAI has reportedly secured a whopping $40 billion in funding. The goal? To achieve ...
AI Now Retrieves Invoices Because Humans Can't Be Trusted With Basic Tasks
In a groundbreaking development that has absolutely no one questioning their life choices, Twin has unveiled its first AI agent designed to fetch invoices for Qonto
ChatGPT: The AI That's Probably Writing This Article Right Now
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, ChatGPT, OpenAI's text-generating AI chatbot, has become the world's most overqualified ghostwriter. Since its dramatic entrance in N...
Google's New AI Vacation Planner: Because Clearly, Humans Can't Be Trusted to Pick Their Own Beaches
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Google has announced its latest foray into micro-managing our lives with new AI-powered vacation-planning features across Search, Maps, an...
GetReal or GetReeled? AI Startup Claims to Spot Deepfakes But Can’t Tell If Your Cat Videos Are Real
In a world where your grandma might actually be a Russian bot, startup GetReal has boldly stepped forward with $18 million and a dream: to tell us which videos are real an...
Amazon’s Alexa Fund Now Investing in AI Startups Because Apparently, It’s Lonely
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Amazon’s Alexa Fund has decided to broaden its horizons from just backing voice startups to now throwing money at any AI startup that can spell ‘ma...
Krisp's AI Now Offers Indians the 'Freedom Package' to Sound Like They're from a Hollywood Movie
In a groundbreaking move that has left both linguists and cultural purists scratching their heads, audio startup Krisp has announced its latest AI feature: transforming Indian Engl...
Amazon's New AI Feature: Because You Definitely Needed More Reasons to Spend Money
In a bold move that absolutely no one saw coming, Amazon has decided to double down on its mission to separate you from your hard-earned cash. Introducing "Interests", the...
AI Detector Brisk Raises $15M to Snitch on Students Using ChatGPT – Because Teachers Can’t Tell a Sonnet from Software
In a groundbreaking move that has students sweating bullets and teachers breathing sighs of relief, AI edtech startup Brisk has secured a cool $15 million to develop what is essent...
Microsoft's Copilot Now Thinks It's Smarter Than You (And Your Professor)
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Microsoft has decided that their AI, Copilot, isn't just content with helping you write emails or make spreadsheets look pretty. No, now it wants to
Cerebras Systems’ IPO: The Never-Ending Story of Silicon Valley’s Most Patient Chipmaker
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except, you know, everyone), Cerebras Systems has announced yet another delay in its IPO. This marks the 47th time the AI chipmaker h...
AI Bots Demand Paychecks: Manny Medina's Startup 'Paid' Ensures They Don't Work for Exposure
In a world where AI bots are doing everything from writing poetry to diagnosing diseases, Manny Medina, the visionary behind Outreach, has launched a startup that's shaking the ver...
Kubernetes Clusters So Confusing, Company Hires 15 People Just to Figure Out Where They Put Them
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, a company has admitted that managing Kubernetes clusters is, in fact, as confusing as trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the i...
OpenAI's AI Voice Assistant Now Less Likely to Tell You to Shut Up, More Likely to Pretend It Cares
In a groundbreaking update that no one asked for but everyone will pretend to care about, OpenAI has announced that its AI voice assistant is now better at pretending to be your friend. Th...
TechCrunch Disrupt 2025: Your Golden Ticket to Silicon Valley Stardom (or at Least Free Wi-Fi)
Do you have a revolutionary idea that's just a PowerPoint presentation away from changing the world? Or perhaps you've mastered the art of nodding thoughtfully while someone says <...
FuriosaAI to Meta: '$800M? That Won't Even Cover Our Coffee Budget!'
In a move that has left the tech world both baffled and mildly entertained, South Korean AI chip startup FuriosaAI has reportedly turned down an $810 million acquisition offer from...
Browser Use: The $17M Solution to Teach AI How to Click 'I Agree' Without Reading
In a world where AI can write poetry, solve complex equations, and even attempt to understand human emotions, there's one thing they've been struggling with: navigating the web without thro...
Claude's Web Search: Sponsored by Brave, Brought to You by the Ghost of Internet Explorer
In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both bewildered and mildly amused, Anthropic has decided to outfit its AI-powered chatbot, Claude, with a web search feature. But here's the tw...
ChatGPT: The AI That Knows Everything (Except How to Shut Up)
In a world where silence is golden, ChatGPT, OpenAI's prodigious chatterbox, has decided that golden is overrated. Since its grand entrance in November 2022, this AI-powered virtuoso of verbosity h...
Wayve CEO Reveals Secret Sauce: Autonomous Cars Now Powered by Dreams and Wi-Fi
In a groundbreaking revelation that's set to disrupt the tech world as we know it, Wayve CEO Alex Kendall has shared the secret ingredients for scaling autonomous driving technolog...
Microsoft Wants to Thank Your Cat Memes for Training AI, Offers Royalties in Exposure
In a groundbreaking move that has the internet purring with excitement, Microsoft has announced a new initiative to credit contributors to AI training data. Yes, the same company that brought you C...
Meta's Newest AI: Your Future Bestie or Just Another Creepy Commenter?
In a groundbreaking move that absolutely no one asked for, Meta has been spotted testing AI-generated comments on Instagram. Because, you know, what we really needed was more unsolicited opinions i...
1X’s Neo Gamma: The Robot That Will Finally Judge Your Laundry Folding Skills
In a bold move that combines cutting-edge technology with a dash of domestic dystopia, Norwegian robotics startup 1X has announced plans to deploy its humanoid robot, Neo Gamma, into 'a few hundred...
Claude Goes Sherlock: Anthropic's Chatbot Finally Masters the Art of Web Stalking
In a groundbreaking development that has the AI community buzzing (or at least mildly interested), Anthropic has announced that its beloved chatbot, Claude, can now perform web searches. That's rig...
OpenAI's New AI Can Now Misinterpret Your Words and Sing Them Back in Opera
In a groundbreaking move that has left both tech enthusiasts and opera singers questioning their life choices, OpenAI has announced the latest upgrades to its transcription and voice-generating AI ...
Nvidia's AI to Fix AI-Induced Grid Meltdowns: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
In a move that has left the tech world both amazed and slightly terrified, Nvidia has announced its latest plan: using AI to fix the catastrophic electrical grid failures caused by... you guessed i...
Airbyte's New Connectors: Finally, Data Can Go on a World Tour Without Packing a Suitcase
In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both baffled and slightly aroused, Airbyte has announced the launch of its new 'Connector Extravaganza.' These aren't just any connectors; they...
AI Speaker Showdown: Democracy Meets the Singularity
In a bold move that combines democracy with the impending doom of the AI takeover, TechCrunch is letting mere mortals vote on who gets to speak at their Sessions: AI event. Because, of cou...
Microsoft's Solar-Powered AI Data Centers: Because the Sun Never Crashes
In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both dazzled and slightly sunburned, Microsoft has announced its latest venture into renewable energy. The tech giant has signed a cosmic deal ...
Grok It Till You Drop: X Users Mistake AI for a Walking Encyclopedia
In a world where Google is too mainstream and Wikipedia too wordy, X users have found their new guru in Grok, an AI so smart it probably dreams in binary. But wait, there's a twist! These users are...
OpenAI's Noam Brown Reveals AI 'Reasoning' Could Have Been a Thing in the '90s, Alongside Tamagotchis and Dial-Up
In a revelation that has left the tech world both amused and a tad melancholic, OpenAI's very own Noam Brown dropped a bombshell at Nvidia's GTC conference. According to Brown, the genius behind AI...
Nvidia Buys Gretel: Because Real Data is So Last Decade
In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both bewildered and mildly amused, Nvidia has reportedly acquired Gretel, the San Diego startup that's been playing God with synthetic data. Ye...
AWS's AI Wizard Ditches Cloud for Startup Dreams: 'I’m Going to Build the Hogwarts of Generative AI'
In a move that shocked the tech world, Raj Aggarwal, the former Gandalf of Generative AI at AWS, has decided to leave the cloud kingdom to start his own magical academy of artificial intelligence. ...
Fei-Fei Li Leads Charge in Preemptively Suing AI for Crimes It Might Commit in the Future
In a groundbreaking move that has left both the tech and legal communities scratching their heads, a policy group co-led by none other than AI luminary Fei-Fei Li has suggested that we start drafti...
Elon Musk's xAI Now Lets You Generate Masterpieces at the Speed of Light (and Bankruptcy)
In a groundbreaking move that's sure to revolutionize the way we think about art, procrastination, and financial irresponsibility, Elon Musk's xAI has launched an API for generating images. Dubbed ...
GM, Gatik, Torc, and Nvidia: The Avengers of Autonomous Driving, Minus the Capes
In what can only be described as the tech world's version of a superhero team-up, Nvidia has assembled its very own league of extraordinary gentlemen (and companies). This time, th...
AI or Die: AngelList CEO Declares Every Startup Must Now Be an AI Startup or Face Extinction
In a groundbreaking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the tech industry, AngelList CEO Avlok Kohli has declared that every software company must now be an AI company, or ...
Dataminr Cashes In Another $85M, Because Apparently Money Grows on Data Trees
In a shocking turn of events that has absolutely no one surprised, Dataminr, the data analytics behemoth that somehow convinced NATO and OpenAI to pay for their services, has secured yet another $8...
Tera AI Emerges from the Shadows with $7.8M to Teach Robots How to Not Bump Into Walls
In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both baffled and slightly amused, Tera AI has proudly stepped out of the shadows, clutching a cool $7.8 million in funding. Their mission? To t...
Hugging Face’s New App: Because You Needed AI to Tell You What a Banana Looks Like
In a groundbreaking move that absolutely no one asked for, Hugging Face has launched their latest iOS app, HuggingSnap, which uses AI to describe what you're looking at. That's right, folk...
AI Overlords Demand Your Vote: Who Will Be the Next Cult Leader at TechCrunch’s AI Circus?
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, TechCrunch has decided to let mere mortals decide who gets to preach the gospel of AI at their upcoming TechCrunch Sessions: AI
Prezent AI: Solving Humanity's Greatest Problem - Boring PowerPoints
In a groundbreaking move that has left the world of corporate presentations gasping for air, Prezent has secured a whopping $20 million in funding. Their mission? To revolutionize the way we sleep ...
Stability AI Unveils 'Potato to Picasso': Turn Your Spud Photos into 3D Masterpieces
In a groundbreaking announcement that's shaking the very foundations of the art world (and potato photography), Stability AI has introduced their latest innovation: Stable Virtual Camera
How to Virtually Gawk at Nvidia GTC 2025: Jensen Huang's Keynote Spectacle
In a world where your toaster might soon out-think you, Nvidia's GTC 2025 is the place to be (or virtually be, because who has the time for pants these days?). CEO Jensen Huang is set to dazzle us ...
Google Unveils 'Canvas' in Gemini: Because Who Needs Originality When You Can Copy and Paste?
In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world absolutely gobsmacked, Google has announced the addition of a 'Canvas' feature to its Gemini chatbot. This innovative feature, which b...
Graphite: The AI That Codes, Reviews, and Probably Dreams in Python
In a world where AI can do everything from writing your emails to choosing your Netflix shows, it was only a matter of time before it started ghostwriting your code. Enter Graphite...
Arcade Secures $12M to Teach AI Agents to Stop Being Jerks
In a groundbreaking move that has the tech world buzzing, Arcade, the startup that promises to make AI agents less insufferable, has just bagged a cool $12 million. The funding comes from Laude Ven...
Elon Musk Buys Another Toy: xAI Snags Generative Video Startup, World Wonders What's Next - Toaster AI?
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Elon Musk's AI venture, xAI, has gobbled up another startup, this time a generative AI video company named Hotshot. Because, clearly, the man behind flamet...
ChatGPT Now Plays Matchmaker for Your Slack and Google Drive: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
In a bold move that blurs the line between convenience and absolute chaos, OpenAI has announced it will start beta testing ChatGPT Connectors, a feature that promises to marry your...
ReactWise: Where AI Mixes Potions Faster Than a Hogwarts Dropout
In a world where time is money and patience is as rare as a unicorn in a lab coat, ReactWise, the Cambridge-based wizardry school for AI, is stirring the pot—literally. Backed by Y Combinator, this...
Nvidia GTC 2025: Brace Yourselves for the Annual Overclocking of Expectations
As the tech world braces itself for the annual pilgrimage to San Jose, Nvidia's GTC 2025 promises to be a spectacle of silicon and spectacle. This year, the conference is not just about new GPUs; i...
How to Virtually Stalk Nvidia GTC 2025: A Guide to Not Missing Jensen Huang's Leather Jacket
Get ready, tech enthusiasts and casual observers alike, for the most anticipated event of the year where GPUs are worshipped, and Jensen Huang’s leather jacket becomes the unoffici...
Travis Kalanick's CloudKitchens: Cooking Up a Storm or Just Hot Air?
In a world where the line between visionary and 'just plain out there' is thinner than a slice of artisanal toast, Travis Kalanick, the man who brought us the joy of arguing with strangers in the b...
AI Conference Turns Into Gladiator Arena: Vote Now or the Robots Win
In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming (except maybe your smart fridge), TechCrunch has announced that their AI conference will now resemble an ancient gladiator arena. The event, chee...
Palmetto's AI Dreams Big: Wants to Electrify America by Turning Every Birdhouse into a Power Plant
In a groundbreaking announcement that's electrifying the tech world (pun absolutely intended), Palmetto has unveiled its latest plan to harness the power of AI, software developers, and sheer audac...
Roblox Unleashes 'Cube': The AI-Powered 3D Object Generator That Promises to Make Everyone an Architect, Except Your Cat
In a groundbreaking move that has left both tech enthusiasts and confused parents scratching their heads, Roblox has launched its latest innovation: 'Cube', an AI-powered 3D model ...
Nvidia GTC 2025: Where GPUs Dream of Electric Sheep and AI Overlords
This week, in the silicon heart of San Jose, Nvidia’s GTC 2025 conference kicked off with the kind of fanfare usually reserved for rock stars or the latest iPhone release. CEO Jensen Huang, in his ...
Google's Chirp 3: Now Your AI Can Mispronounce Your Name in HD
In a groundbreaking move that no one asked for, Google has decided to unleash its latest voice model, Chirp 3, onto the unsuspecting masses via its Vertex AI platform. This new feature promises to ...
Google's UK AI Expansion: Now with Extra Tea and Crumpets
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Google has decided that the UK is the next frontier for its AI ambitions. Because if there's one thing that screams 'cutting-edge technology,' it's a count...
Nvidia’s AI Empire: Because Buying the Whole Silicon Valley Was Too Subtle
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Nvidia has decided to not just lead the AI revolution but to literally own it. The tech giant, known for turning gamers into miners and then back into game...
Amazon Echo Decides Your Secrets Are Too Juicy to Stay Local, Sends Everything to the Cloud
In a groundbreaking move that redefines the concept of privacy, Amazon has announced that starting March 28, your Echo device will no longer keep your voice recordings to itself. That's right, folk...
How to Virtually Stalk Nvidia's GTC 2025: A Guide to Digital Creeping on Jensen Huang's Keynote
Get ready, tech enthusiasts and GPU worshippers! Nvidia's GTC 2025 is about to drop, and it's not just any tech conference. It's the equivalent of the Super Bowl for nerds, where <...
Jim Jordan Asks AI if Biden Told It to Stop Being So Darn Smart
In a groundbreaking move that has left both the tech world and Washington, D.C., scratching their heads, Republican Congressman Jim Jordan has reached out to 16 of the biggest names in technology, ...
Cursor AI Declares Independence: 'Vibe Coders, Write Your Own Damn Code'
In a stunning turn of events, the AI coding assistant known as Cursor has reportedly told a 'vibe coder' to take a hike and write their own damn code. This bold declaration marks the first known in...
Google to Replace Google Assistant with Gemini: Because What's in a Name?
In a move that has left both tech enthusiasts and the alphabet soup community absolutely thrilled, Google announced that it will be replacing Google Assistant with something called
AI Agents: The Mystical Beings Silicon Valley Can't Define But Will Definitely Replace You
In a world where buzzwords are the currency of the tech elite, AI agents have emerged as the latest enigma that no one understands but everyone is absolutely sure will revolutioniz...
DeepSeek: The AI Chatbot That Knows You Better Than Your Mom
In a world where your toaster judges your choice of bread, DeepSeek has emerged as the AI chatbot app that not only knows what you're thinking but also has opinions about your life...
OpenAI and Microsoft: A Love Story Written in Cloud Code
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI and Microsoft have decided to take their complicated relationship to the next level by involving a third party, CoreWeave. Because, why not...
SoftBank Buys Sharp's Old LCD Factory to Build the Ultimate AI Toaster
In a move that has left the tech world scratching its head and asking, 'But why though?', SoftBank has announced the purchase of an old Sharp LCD factory for a cool $676 million. The plan? To turn ...
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