Enterprise News
Browse our collection of satirical articles about Enterprise
Wasp's Platform: The Digital Duct Tape of Web Development or Just Another Pie in the Sky?
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (also known as Silicon Valley), a brave soul named Matija Šošić embarked on a perilous quest. His mission? To navigate the treacherous, fragmented dev tool...
Claude the Creepy: Your New AI Overlord Now Snoops Through Your Emails
In a move that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone), Anthropic has decided that what the world really needs is an AI that can rifle through your personal correspondence like a nosy neighb...
Jobandtalent's AI Now So Smart It Can Recruit Your Coffee Machine (And Yes, It's Overqualified)
In a groundbreaking move that has left both the tech and temp worlds scratching their heads, Jobandtalent has raised a cool $103 million to further its mission of... well, we're no...
Amazon CEO Andy Jassy Declares AI Investment or Die Trying - A Satirical Survival Guide
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, Amazon CEO Andy Jassy has boldly declared that companies must invest "aggressively" in AI or risk becoming as releva...
Google's AI Now Tackles Gridlock: Because Bureaucracy Was Too Efficient
In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Google has announced its latest AI venture: untangling the "spaghetti junction" of the electrical grid's bureaucracy. Because, ...
Trump's Revolutionary Plan: Powering Data Centers with Coal Because Nothing Says 'Future' Like the 1800s
In a groundbreaking move that has left environmentalists weeping and historians scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump has announced his latest masterstroke: endorsing coal as the pr...
IBM Eats Hakkoda for Breakfast: Another Consultancy Vanishes Into the Corporate Borg
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, IBM has gobbled up another consultancy firm, Hakkoda, because apparently, IBM's hunger for AI and data consultancies is as insatiable as a teenager's appet...
Parasail Claims Its GPU Fleet is So Big, Even Oracle's Cloud is Blushing
In a world where cloud infrastructure is as crowded as a Black Friday sale at a tech store, Parasail has decided to drop a bombshell that's louder than your neighbor's blender at 3...
Qualcomm Buys Vietnamese AI Startup's 'Magic 8-Ball' Division for Who Even Knows How Much
In a move that has left everyone scratching their heads but not enough to actually look it up, Qualcomm has acquired the generative AI division of VinAI, a Vietnamese startup that ...
Intel Capital's Midlife Crisis: From Chip Daddy to Startup Sugar Baby
In a move that shocked absolutely no one who's ever witnessed a midlife crisis, Intel Capital has decided it's time to leave the nest, trade in its minivan for a Tesla, and start swiping right on s...
eBay Throws Money at GraphQL StartUp Because Apparently, We Need More Acronyms in Our Lives
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, eBay has decided to invest in yet another tech startup. This time, it's WunderGraph, a company that promise...
Kubernetes Clusters So Confusing, Company Hires 15 People Just to Figure Out Where They Put Them
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, a company has admitted that managing Kubernetes clusters is, in fact, as confusing as trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the i...
Airbyte's New Connectors: Finally, Data Can Go on a World Tour Without Packing a Suitcase
In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both baffled and slightly aroused, Airbyte has announced the launch of its new 'Connector Extravaganza.' These aren't just any connectors; they...
Microsoft's Solar-Powered AI Data Centers: Because the Sun Never Crashes
In a groundbreaking move that has left the tech world both dazzled and slightly sunburned, Microsoft has announced its latest venture into renewable energy. The tech giant has signed a cosmic deal ...
AWS's AI Wizard Ditches Cloud for Startup Dreams: 'I’m Going to Build the Hogwarts of Generative AI'
In a move that shocked the tech world, Raj Aggarwal, the former Gandalf of Generative AI at AWS, has decided to leave the cloud kingdom to start his own magical academy of artificial intelligence. ...
Dataminr Cashes In Another $85M, Because Apparently Money Grows on Data Trees
In a shocking turn of events that has absolutely no one surprised, Dataminr, the data analytics behemoth that somehow convinced NATO and OpenAI to pay for their services, has secured yet another $8...
How to Virtually Gawk at Nvidia GTC 2025: Jensen Huang's Keynote Spectacle
In a world where your toaster might soon out-think you, Nvidia's GTC 2025 is the place to be (or virtually be, because who has the time for pants these days?). CEO Jensen Huang is set to dazzle us ...
ChatGPT Now Plays Matchmaker for Your Slack and Google Drive: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
In a bold move that blurs the line between convenience and absolute chaos, OpenAI has announced it will start beta testing ChatGPT Connectors, a feature that promises to marry your...
Nvidia GTC 2025: Brace Yourselves for the Annual Overclocking of Expectations
As the tech world braces itself for the annual pilgrimage to San Jose, Nvidia's GTC 2025 promises to be a spectacle of silicon and spectacle. This year, the conference is not just about new GPUs; i...
How to Virtually Stalk Nvidia GTC 2025: A Guide to Not Missing Jensen Huang's Leather Jacket
Get ready, tech enthusiasts and casual observers alike, for the most anticipated event of the year where GPUs are worshipped, and Jensen Huang’s leather jacket becomes the unoffici...
Nvidia GTC 2025: Where GPUs Dream of Electric Sheep and AI Overlords
This week, in the silicon heart of San Jose, Nvidia’s GTC 2025 conference kicked off with the kind of fanfare usually reserved for rock stars or the latest iPhone release. CEO Jensen Huang, in his ...
Google's Chirp 3: Now Your AI Can Mispronounce Your Name in HD
In a groundbreaking move that no one asked for, Google has decided to unleash its latest voice model, Chirp 3, onto the unsuspecting masses via its Vertex AI platform. This new feature promises to ...
Google's UK AI Expansion: Now with Extra Tea and Crumpets
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Google has decided that the UK is the next frontier for its AI ambitions. Because if there's one thing that screams 'cutting-edge technology,' it's a count...
How to Virtually Stalk Nvidia's GTC 2025: A Guide to Digital Creeping on Jensen Huang's Keynote
Get ready, tech enthusiasts and GPU worshippers! Nvidia's GTC 2025 is about to drop, and it's not just any tech conference. It's the equivalent of the Super Bowl for nerds, where <...
SoftBank Buys Sharp's Old LCD Factory to Build the Ultimate AI Toaster
In a move that has left the tech world scratching its head and asking, 'But why though?', SoftBank has announced the purchase of an old Sharp LCD factory for a cool $676 million. The plan? To turn ...