Mergers And Acquisitions News

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DoorDash Decides to Buy Everything But the Kitchen Sink for $5.05B, Including Your Local Pizza Guy

DoorDash is buying up the competition and possibly your local eateries in a $5.05B spree that promises to deliver everything but market diversity. Feast your eyes on the future of food delivery monopolies!

Instacart Buys Wynshop: Because Grocers Clearly Need More Cloud in Their Lives

Instacart's latest acquisition proves that the future of grocery shopping is more cloud, more confusion, and definitely more bruised apples.

OpenAI's Shopping Spree: Why Buy Windsurf for $3B When You Could Just Steal Cursor and Call It a Day?

In a move that has left the tech world scratching its collective head, OpenAI has decided to drop a cool $3 billion on Windsurf, an AI coding company that, let's be honest, most of us had never hea...

Lyst Loses Its Luster: Fashion Marketplace Once Worth More Than Your Grandma's Antique Vase Sold for Price of a Designer Handbag

In a shocking turn of events that has left the fashion world gasping louder than a Victorian lady in a corset, Lyst, the high-end fashion marketplace once valued at a cool $700 million, ha...

IBM Eats Hakkoda for Breakfast: Another Consultancy Vanishes Into the Corporate Borg

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, IBM has gobbled up another consultancy firm, Hakkoda, because apparently, IBM's hunger for AI and data consultancies is as insatiable as a teenager's appet...

Qualcomm Buys Vietnamese AI Startup's 'Magic 8-Ball' Division for Who Even Knows How Much

In a move that has left everyone scratching their heads but not enough to actually look it up, Qualcomm has acquired the generative AI division of VinAI, a Vietnamese startup that ...

Krafton acquires controlling stake in Indian gaming studio Nautilus Mobile for $14M (Satirical Version)

Failed to generate satirical content. Our AI satirist is taking an unscheduled coffee break....

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