Openai News
Browse our collection of satirical articles about Openai
ChatGPT: Everything you need to know about the AI-powered chatbot (Satirical Version)
OpenAI Genius Told to Take His Brain and Leave: GPT-4.5 Researcher's Green Card Denial Sparks Outrage and Memes
ChatGPT Now Remembers Your Pizza Preferences: The AI That Won't Forget You're Lactose Intolerant
In a groundbreaking update that no one asked for but everyone will pretend to care about, OpenAI has announced that ChatGPT will now use its "memory" to personalize web searches. B...
SPACs Are Back (Because Apparently, We Forgot How Bad They Were)
In a move that shocked absolutely no one who hasn't been paying attention since 2021, Kodiak Robotics has decided to dust off the ol' SPAC playbook. That's right, folks – the S...
OpenAI's Shopping Spree: Why Buy Windsurf for $3B When You Could Just Steal Cursor and Call It a Day?
In a move that has left the tech world scratching its collective head, OpenAI has decided to drop a cool $3 billion on Windsurf, an AI coding company that, let's be honest, most of us had never hea...
OpenAI's Stargate: The Galactic Domination Tour Now Accepting Applications from Earthlings
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI's Stargate project, the $500 billion brainchild of tech's most ambitious (or delusional) minds, is now eyeing internationa...
OpenAI's New AI Models: o3 Thinks Before It Speaks, o4-mini Still in Diapers
In a groundbreaking announcement that shocked exactly no one, OpenAI has unveiled its latest AI models, o3 and o4-mini, which they claim can actually think
OpenAI's Codex CLI: Because Typing 'Hello World' Was Just Too Hard
In a groundbreaking move that has undoubtedly saved developers from the exhausting task of remembering how to write basic code, OpenAI has unveiled Codex CLI, a tool that ...
OpenAI's New Social Media: Where Bots Post, Like, and Block Each Other
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI is reportedly developing its own social media platform, tentatively named Botter. Because what the world needs right now is another...
OpenAI's GPT-4.1: Because Who Needs Safety Reports When You Have Flashy Benchmarks?
In a move that shocked absolutely no one who's been paying attention, OpenAI has decided to release GPT-4.1 without the pesky inconvenience of a safety report. That's right, folks, the company that...
OpenAI to GPT-4.5: 'It's Not You, It's Us (And Our Obsession With Shiny New Things)'
In a move that shocked absolutely no one in the tech world, OpenAI announced plans to give GPT-4.5 the old heave-ho from its API lineup. 'We just feel like we're not in the same place anymore,'...
ChatGPT: The AI That's Probably Smarter Than Your Ex (And Definitely More Helpful)
In a world where your toaster judges you for eating carbs, OpenAI's ChatGPT has emerged as the ultimate digital companion. Since its grand debut in November 2022, this AI-powered c...
ChatGPT Now Remembers Your Darkest Secrets (And Will Use Them Against You)
In a move that has privacy advocates screaming into their encrypted pillows, OpenAI has announced that ChatGPT will now remember your past conversations. That's right, the AI that already knows how...
AI Charitable Bots: Now Begging for Change So You Don’t Have To!
In a world where your toaster judges your life choices, it was only a matter of time before AI started hitting us up for spare change. Enter Sage Future, the nonprofit that’s decid...
ChatGPT in India: Millions Chat, Fewer Pay - The Ultimate Free Ride?
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, ChatGPT has become the digital equivalent of a free buffet in India, with millions lining up to partake but somehow forgetting their ...
OpenAI's Models Caught Red-Handed in Copyright Heist – AI or Artful Dodger?
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except literally everyone), a new study suggests that OpenAI's models might have been doing a little more than just 'learning' from c...
HR Tech or Spy Tech? Rippling's Lawsuit Against Deel Reads Like a Bad Bond Movie
In a turn of events that has everyone questioning whether they're in HR tech or a poorly scripted spy movie, Rippling has filed a lawsuit against Deel that's more ...
OpenAI's Latest Model: o3 or Not o3, That Is the Question - Plus, GPT-5 Takes a Nap
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone), OpenAI has decided to release the o3 reasoning model after all. Yes, the same model they effectively gave the cold ...
Studio Ghibli Fans Desperately Await Hayao Miyazaki's AI Rant That May Never Come
In a world where AI-generated content is becoming as common as Starbucks on every corner, the internet held its breath for Studio Ghibli's legendary Hayao Miyazaki to unleash a rant against OpenAI'...
ChatGPT's Image Generator: Turning the Internet into a Digital Coloring Book Since Last Week
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, OpenAI has announced that their ChatGPT users have generated over 700 million images since last week. That's right, folks. In the tim...
OpenAI's Servers Crying for Mercy: Sam Altman Announces Delays as ChatGPT Users Flood In
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman has announced that the company's servers are currently more overwhelmed than a single toilet at a music festiva...
ChatGPT: The AI That's Probably Smarter Than Your Dog (And Maybe You)
In a world where your toaster can judge your life choices, ChatGPT has emerged as the supreme overlord of artificial intelligence, or at least that's what it wants you to think. Si...
AI Models: Because Humans Are Too Last Century
In a world where asking Siri to set a timer is considered a peak human achievement, AI models are here to remind us just how inadequate we really are. Confused about which AI model to use?<...
OpenAI Spends $40 Billion to Turn Your Cat Photos into Studio Ghibli Masterpieces
In a move that has left both tech enthusiasts and anime fans scratching their heads, OpenAI has reportedly secured a whopping $40 billion in funding. The goal? To achieve ...
ChatGPT: The AI That's Probably Writing This Article Right Now
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, ChatGPT, OpenAI's text-generating AI chatbot, has become the world's most overqualified ghostwriter. Since its dramatic entrance in N...
OpenAI's $40B Party: SoftBank Leads the Charge While We Stick to Making AI Memes
In a world where the rest of us are still trying to figure out how to make ChatGPT generate a decent joke, OpenAI is out there playing Monopoly with real money. Yes, the AI overlords are at...
ChatGPT: The AI That Knows Everything (Except How to Shut Up)
In a world where silence is golden, ChatGPT, OpenAI's prodigious chatterbox, has decided that golden is overrated. Since its grand entrance in November 2022, this AI-powered virtuoso of verbosity h...
OpenAI's New AI Can Now Misinterpret Your Words and Sing Them Back in Opera
In a groundbreaking move that has left both tech enthusiasts and opera singers questioning their life choices, OpenAI has announced the latest upgrades to its transcription and voice-generating AI ...
OpenAI's Noam Brown Reveals AI 'Reasoning' Could Have Been a Thing in the '90s, Alongside Tamagotchis and Dial-Up
In a revelation that has left the tech world both amused and a tad melancholic, OpenAI's very own Noam Brown dropped a bombshell at Nvidia's GTC conference. According to Brown, the genius behind AI...
ChatGPT Now Plays Matchmaker for Your Slack and Google Drive: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
In a bold move that blurs the line between convenience and absolute chaos, OpenAI has announced it will start beta testing ChatGPT Connectors, a feature that promises to marry your...
OpenAI and Microsoft: A Love Story Written in Cloud Code
In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI and Microsoft have decided to take their complicated relationship to the next level by involving a third party, CoreWeave. Because, why not...
SoftBank Buys Sharp's Old LCD Factory to Build the Ultimate AI Toaster
In a move that has left the tech world scratching its head and asking, 'But why though?', SoftBank has announced the purchase of an old Sharp LCD factory for a cool $676 million. The plan? To turn ...
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