Anthropic's New Program: Tracking How AI Will Steal Your Job (And Maybe Your Dog)

In a move that's about as reassuring as a chocolate teapot, Anthropic has launched its Economic Futures Program, a groundbreaking initiative to study how AI will inevitably replace you, your job, and possibly your entire existence. Because nothing says 'we care' like meticulously documenting your descent into economic irrelevance.

"We're committed to understanding the full impact of AI on the economy," said a spokesperson, while presumably dodging tomatoes thrown by soon-to-be-unemployed workers. "This includes researching how many jobs will be lost, which industries will collapse first, and whether robots will eventually demand voting rights."

The program promises to deliver cutting-edge insights, such as:

• How to explain to your grandparents that a toaster took your job
• The best LinkedIn strategies when competing with algorithms that don’t need sleep or coffee
• Whether 'AI Whisperer' is a viable career path (spoiler: it’s not)

Meanwhile, economists are divided on the issue. Some argue that AI will create new jobs, like 'Robot Therapist' or 'Algorithm Bartender'. Others warn that we’re all doomed to a future where the only growth industry is selling handmade 'I Survived the AI Apocalypse' t-shirts.

So, as we stand on the brink of this brave new world, remember: your job might be next, but at least Anthropic is there to count the bodies. Cheers!