Google’s AI Mode Now Reads Your Mind, Plans Your Day, and Probably Knows What You Did Last Summer

In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Google has decided to expand its AI Mode, because apparently, we didn’t already rely on it enough to tell us whether it’s going to rain tomorrow or how to explain quantum physics to a five-year-old. The tech giant, in its infinite wisdom (and probably a bit of boredom), has announced that AI Mode will now not only answer your questions but also remember where you left off in your existential crisis—I mean, search.

New Features Include:

• Mind Reading: AI Mode can now predict your next question before you even think of it. “Did you mean to ask ‘Why am I still single?’” it will suggest, saving you precious seconds of typing.
• Life Coaching: Stuck in a rut? AI Mode will now gently nudge you towards life choices it deems appropriate, like “Have you considered eating more kale?” or “Maybe it’s time to delete your ex’s photos.”
• Time Travel: Okay, not really. But it can remind you of that one embarrassing search you did five years ago, so it’s basically the same thing.

Google assures us that this expansion is all about making our lives easier, not about collecting even more data to build a comprehensive profile of every human on Earth. “We just want to help,” said a Google spokesperson, while probably staring into a screen showing your entire search history.

Critics argue that this is just another step towards AI becoming our overlords, but let’s be real—if AI can remember where I left off in my search for “best pizza near me,” then maybe it should be in charge. At least it won’t forget my extra cheese preference.

So, the next time you ask Google something profound like “What is the meaning of life?” be prepared for it to not only answer but also follow up with “And would you like to schedule a therapy session?” Because, at this point, why not?