IBM Eats Hakkoda for Breakfast: Another Consultancy Vanishes Into the Corporate Borg

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, IBM has gobbled up another consultancy firm, Hakkoda, because apparently, IBM's hunger for AI and data consultancies is as insatiable as a teenager's appetite for pizza. "We're not just expanding our consulting business; we're creating a black hole that will eventually consume all consultancies," said Mohamad Ali, SVP and head of IBM's consulting business, probably while petting a white cat in a villainous manner.

The acquisition, which IBM claims will "further expand" its ability to bring consultants and AI to clients, is just another day in the life of Big Blue. Because nothing says "innovation" like buying up every smaller company that might have had an original thought. Financial services, public sector, healthcare, and life sciences clients can now look forward to being serviced by the same monolithic entity, because diversity in consultancy options is overrated, right?

Here's what the acquisition really means for the industry:

• Another independent consultancy loses its identity to the IBM brand.
• Clients will now have to navigate IBM's labyrinthine phone tree to get help.
• The term "AI consultancy" will be used so much it will lose all meaning by 2024.

In related news, IBM announced its next acquisition target: your local coffee shop's AI-powered espresso machine. Because why stop at consultancies when you can dominate the caffeine-fueled world of tech bros too?

As for Hakkoda's employees, they're expected to be fully assimilated into IBM's culture by next quarter. Resistance is futile, and your unique office snacks will be replaced with generic vending machine fare. Welcome to the family!