Last Call to Join the AI Circus: TechCrunch’s Final Plea for Your Money (I Mean, Participation)

In what can only be described as a desperate cry for attention (and cash), TechCrunch has issued its final, tearful plea for you to exhibit at their "Sessions: AI" event. Yes, folks, the clock is ticking down to the apocalyptic deadline of 11:59 p.m. PT tonight. Miss it, and you’ll forever regret not being part of what’s essentially a glorified science fair for adults.

Imagine, if you will, stepping into Zellerbach Hall at UC Berkeley, a place normally reserved for actual academic pursuits. Now, picture it overrun by 1,200+ investors, founders, and journalists—all armed with business cards sharper than their wit—ready to pounce on the next "game-changing" AI startup that promises to revolutionize how we ignore privacy concerns.

Why should you exhibit? Well, because where else can you pay thousands of dollars to stand next to a table while people pretend to care about your startup before moving on to the free coffee? It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be ignored in person rather than over email!

• Network with people who will forget your name before you finish saying it.
• Showcase your AI that probably just rebrands existing technology.
• Enjoy the thrill of realizing your booth is next to your direct competitor.

But hurry! With only hours left, the FOMO is real. Don’t be the sad story of the entrepreneur who missed their chance to be part of "the most groundbreaking event of the year" (until the next one next month).

Remember, in the world of tech, it’s not about what you know—it’s about who you can awkwardly small talk with before they check their phone. So, apply now, and let the existential dread of whether it was worth it begin!