Meta Throws Money at Scale AI Like It's Confetti at a Zuckerberg Wedding

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Meta (formerly known as Facebook, for those of you still living in 2020) has decided to shower Scale AI with what they're calling a 'significant' investment. Significant, of course, being Silicon Valley code for 'we have no idea what we're doing, but here's a pile of cash anyway.'

The investment values Scale AI at a cool $29 billion, which is roughly the GDP of a small country or the amount Meta spends on VR headsets no one wants. Scale AI's CEO, Alexandr Wang, is reportedly leaving, possibly to start a new company called 'Scale AI But With More Free Snacks.'

Why is Meta investing? Well, because they've run out of ideas. After pivoting to the metaverse and realizing that people would rather stare at a wall than put on a VR headset, they're now throwing money at AI in the hopes that it will love them back.

'We see great potential in Scale AI's ability to label data,' said a Meta spokesperson, while subtly crying into their Zuck Bucks. 'Just like we saw great potential in the metaverse. And Facebook Portal. And... you know what, let's just not talk about it.'

Meanwhile, Alexandr Wang's departure has left many wondering if he's off to find the fountain of youth that keeps Elon Musk looking like he's permanently 35. Or perhaps he's just tired of explaining to investors what 'data labeling' actually means.

In related news, Meta's stock price took a nosedive after investors realized they'd confused 'Scale AI' with 'Skynet.' Whoops.