Meta's AI Now Writes Bestsellers (Because It Read All Your Books Without Asking)

In a landmark decision that has authors everywhere considering a career in professional screaming, a federal judge has ruled that Meta's AI can continue to use copyrighted books as its personal buffet. The lawsuit, brought by 13 authors including the famously unamused Sarah Silverman, argued that Meta's AI training practices were about as legal as a raccoon in a library after hours. The judge, however, saw things differently, essentially ruling that 'if you didn't want your books read by robots, you shouldn't have published them in the first place.'

The ruling has sent shockwaves through the literary community, with many authors now wondering if their next book signing will be crashed by a chatbot demanding royalties. 'It's not fair,' wept one novelist, 'my protagonist was based on my ex, and now Meta's AI is generating fan fiction where they end up happy.'

Meta, for its part, has celebrated the decision by announcing its new AI-authored series: 'How to Lose Friends and Influence People... to Let You Use Their Content for Free.' Early reviews are mixed, with critics praising its innovative use of legal loopholes and its complete lack of human emotion.

Meanwhile, in a related development, bookstores have begun installing 'AI detectors' to prevent Meta's algorithms from loitering in the science fiction section. 'We caught one trying to absorb 'Dune' through its camera,' said one store owner. 'It left a five-star review and then asked if we had any more books about sand.'

As the dust settles, one thing is clear: the future of literature is here, and it's powered by an AI that definitely didn't pay for its library card.