Microsoft's New Copilot for Gaming: Because Reading Game Manuals is So 2005

In a groundbreaking move that has left gamers everywhere wondering how they ever survived without it, Microsoft has announced the beta release of Copilot for Gaming. This revolutionary feature, now testing in the Xbox app for iOS and Android, is set to replace the age-old tradition of actually playing games to figure them out. Instead, you can now ask an AI assistant to do the hard work for you.

"Why waste time exploring virtual worlds when you can have a robot tell you exactly what to do?" said a Microsoft spokesperson, who may or may not have been an AI themselves. "We're saving gamers from the horror of discovery and the terror of trial and error."

The early version of Copilot for Gaming promises to answer all your burning questions, like "How do I jump?" and "Is this game worth playing?" — questions that, until now, required the archaic methods of pressing buttons or forming your own opinions.

But wait, there's more! The assistant also provides links to walkthroughs, because who has the time to actually play a game from start to finish without knowing exactly what happens? Spoilers are the new spoons — everyone needs them, apparently.

Microsoft assures us that this is just the beginning. Future updates may include features like "Auto-Scream" for horror games (so you don't have to expend energy being scared) and "Instant Win" buttons for those who find winning too time-consuming.

Gamers on social media have had mixed reactions. One user tweeted, "Finally, I can outsource my gaming experience to an AI. Next, I'll hire someone to eat my snacks for me." Another lamented, "Remember when we used to play games for fun, not to optimize our fun-per-minute ratio?"

Whether Copilot for Gaming is the future of interactive entertainment or just another way to avoid interacting with entertainment remains to be seen. But one thing's for sure: the line between player and spectator has never been blurrier.