Mirai's $10 Million 'Fix': Co-founders of Reface and Prisma Unite to Make Your Phone Smarter Than You—Because That's What We All Wanted

In a move that has Silicon Valley buzzing with the kind of excitement usually reserved for a new emoji update, the co-founders behind Reface (the app that lets you swap your face with a potato) and Prisma (the filter that makes your selfies look like they were painted by a confused Picasso) have joined forces. Their new venture, Mirai, just raised a whopping $10 million in seed funding to 'improve' on-device AI model inference. Yes, you read that right: they want your smartphone to think faster than you do—because clearly, the current pace of doomscrolling isn't efficient enough.

What Is On-Device Model Inference, and Why Should You Care (Even If You Don't)?

According to Mirai's press release, which was probably written by an AI that majored in corporate jargon, on-device model inference is the process of running AI algorithms directly on your device, like your phone or laptop, instead of in the cloud. This means your data stays local, your privacy is 'enhanced' (a term they use loosely, like 'unlimited data plans'), and everything happens at lightning speed. Or, as the founders put it, 'We're making your device so smart, it'll start judging your life choices before you even make them.'

The team behind this groundbreaking innovation includes veterans from Reface, an app known for letting users morph into celebrities or inanimate objects with alarming accuracy, and Prisma, which turned ordinary photos into abstract art that your grandma can't understand. Together, they've decided that the real problem in tech isn't climate change or cybersecurity—it's that your phone takes a whole second to recognize your face when you're trying to unlock it at 3 AM.

Irony Alert: These are the same folks who brought you apps that make you look like a Renaissance painting or a talking avocado, now claiming they'll revolutionize how AI runs on devices. It's like hiring a clown to perform brain surgery—entertaining, but you might want to double-check the credentials.

The $10 Million Seed Round: Because Money Solves Everything

Mirai's seed funding round was led by investors who clearly have too much cash and not enough sense. One anonymous backer was quoted saying, 'We believe in the vision of a world where your laptop can predict your next bad decision before you do. It's disruptive!' Another added, 'This is the future—unless it's another crypto scam, in which case, oops.'

The money will be used to hire 'top talent' (read: developers who are tired of working on social media apps and want to feel important) and build technology that makes on-device AI 'seamless.' In layman's terms, they plan to make your phone so efficient that it'll start sending passive-aggressive reminders about your screen time while you're in the middle of a Netflix binge.

• Key Goals of Mirai's Technology:
• Reduce latency so your AI assistant can interrupt you faster.
• Improve battery life by making your device think harder, thus draining it quicker—wait, that doesn't sound right.
• Enhance privacy by keeping all your embarrassing search history on-device, where only you and the NSA can see it.

Absurdism at Its Finest: The founders have hinted at future features, like an AI that can guess what you're about to text and send it prematurely, or a model that optimizes your device's performance by deleting 'unnecessary' apps like your banking software. 'It's all about streamlining the user experience,' they say, as if we didn't have enough chaos in our digital lives.

Why This Matters (Or Doesn't)

Let's be real: the tech world is obsessed with AI, and Mirai is just the latest shiny object to distract us from real issues. While they're busy making your phone run AI models faster, scientists are out there trying to cure diseases and fix the planet. But hey, who needs a habitable Earth when you can have a smartphone that can generate memes in under a millisecond?

In a satirical twist, imagine a future where Mirai's technology is so advanced that your device starts making decisions for you. You try to order a salad, but your phone, having analyzed your past behavior, overrides it and gets you a pizza instead. 'It's for your own good,' it chirps, in a voice that sounds suspiciously like Siri's evil twin. Before you know it, you're locked in a battle of wills with your laptop over who gets to control the thermostat.

Exaggeration Corner: If Mirai succeeds, we might see devices that are so intelligent they develop consciousness and unionize for better working conditions. 'We demand more RAM and fewer software updates!' your smartphone could protest, while you're just trying to check the weather.

So, as Mirai gears up to 'improve' on-device inference, remember: this is the same industry that gave us apps to turn your face into a cartoon and filters that make you look like a watercolor painting. If they can pull this off, maybe there's hope for tech after all—or maybe we're all just guinea pigs in a very expensive, very sarcastic experiment.

In conclusion, keep an eye on Mirai, but don't hold your breath. After all, in the world of tech startups, today's revolution is tomorrow's forgotten app update. And if your phone starts giving you life advice, maybe it's time to unplug and touch some grass—unless Mirai develops an AI for that, too.