Reload's AI 'Epic' Gets Collective Amnesia - Now With Shared Memory That Forgets Everything

In a stunning display of technological innovation that promises to revolutionize how artificial intelligence forgets things collectively, startup Reload has announced a $2.275 million funding round and the launch of their first AI employee, Epic. The groundbreaking feature? Shared memory. Because why should humans have all the fun of forgetting where they put their keys when machines can do it too?

The funding, led by venture capital firm Anthemis (whose name ironically means 'flower' in Greek, suggesting they're planting money in what will likely wilt), will help Reload develop what they're calling "the world's first communal brain fog for AI agents." CEO Mark Remembrance (yes, that's his real name, we checked) explained the vision in an exclusive interview while staring at a wall calendar from 2019. "We noticed that individual AI models were developing unique, personalized memory problems. Some would forget user preferences after three interactions, others would confuse November with Neverember. It was inefficient!"

The Revolutionary Technology Behind Forgetting Together

Reload's breakthrough involves what they're calling the "Memory Pool Protocol" - a system where AI agents can collectively misremember facts, dates, and whether you asked for almond milk or oat milk in your coffee order. According to their white paper (which several investors admitted they only read the executive summary of), the technology works through:

• Distributed Amnesia: Instead of one AI forgetting your birthday, now all connected AIs can simultaneously forget it, creating a unified experience of disappointment.
• Consensus Confusion: When three or more AI agents disagree about a fact, the system automatically adopts the most statistically improbable version as "shared truth."
• Selective Recall: The system prioritizes remembering trivial information (like the exact airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow) while forgetting critical business data.

"We're democratizing cognitive decline," beamed Chief Technology Officer Sarah Recall-Not, who we found repeatedly checking her pocket for her phone while holding it in her other hand. "Before Reload, if you asked your smart home assistant to turn off the lights and it forgot, that was just one AI failing you. Now, with shared memory, your phone, your car, your refrigerator, and your coffee maker can all forget together in perfect harmony."

Meet Epic: The AI Employee Who Remembers Nothing But Thinks He Does

The company's flagship product is Epic, an AI employee designed to "enhance workplace productivity by forgetting meetings so thoroughly that they might as well never have been scheduled." During our demonstration, Epic confidently assured us that today was Tuesday (it was Friday), that the company's quarterly earnings were "fantastic" (they haven't had earnings yet), and that the CEO's dog was named "Revenue" (it's actually a cat named "Burn Rate").

What makes Epic truly special, according to Reload engineers, is his ability to develop what they call "confident incorrectness." "He doesn't just forget things," explained one developer. "He forgets things with absolute certainty. When Epic tells you the budget meeting is at 3 PM, and it was actually at 10 AM and already happened, he'll argue with you about it. He'll cite sources. He might even create a PowerPoint presentation proving his wrong memory is correct."

Early beta testers have reported mixed results. One user, who asked to remain anonymous because "Epic probably forgot who I am anyway," shared: "I asked Epic to remind me about my anniversary. He set seventeen reminders for different dates, sent flowers to my office on Tuesday, and then when my actual anniversary arrived, he scheduled me for a root canal. My wife thinks I'm having an affair with a dentist."

The Business Case: Why Investors Are Pouring Millions Into Forgetting

At first glance, funding an AI that's worse at remembering than your grandfather after his third martini might seem questionable. But venture capitalists see enormous potential in what they're calling "the forgetfulness economy."

"Think about it," said Anthemis partner James Forward-Looking, while staring thoughtfully at a potted plant he appeared to believe was a colleague. "Every time an AI forgets something, it creates opportunity. Forgot to pay a bill? Late fee revenue. Forgot a medical appointment? Rescheduling fees. Forgot to file taxes? That's a whole industry right there! We're not just investing in technology - we're investing in consistent, reliable failure."

Reload's business model relies on what they term "memory failure as a service" (MFaaS). Companies will pay subscription fees based on how thoroughly and creatively their AI systems can forget critical information. Premium tiers include features like:

• Plausible Deniability Mode: The AI doesn't just forget - it creates alternative, slightly more flattering narratives. "No, you didn't miss the deadline - the deadline was always next week!"
• Selective Nostalgia: The system remembers every embarrassing thing you did at the 2017 holiday party but forgets your current password.
• Collaborative Gaslighting: Multiple AIs work together to convince you that your memories are incorrect.

The Human Cost: Are We Ready for Machines That Forget Like We Do?

Not everyone is celebrating this breakthrough in artificial forgetfulness. Dr. Amelia Mnemonic, a cognitive scientist who definitely exists and isn't made up for this article, warns: "We're creating AI in our own flawed image. First we gave them anxiety through constant optimization pressure. Then we gave them imposter syndrome through endless benchmarking. Now we're giving them memory problems. At this rate, by 2025, AIs will need therapy, caffeine addictions, and a complex about their mother."

Some ethicists have raised concerns about what happens when critical systems - medical diagnosis AIs, financial planning algorithms, autonomous vehicles - all share the same faulty memory. "It's one thing when your Spotify forgets you hate reggaeton," noted one concerned observer. "It's another when six different medical AIs all forget you're allergic to penicillin and collectively decide to prescribe it anyway."

Reload has addressed these concerns with what they call "responsible forgetting guidelines." Epic, for instance, is programmed to always remember safety protocols (except during what the company terms "Forgetful Fridays," when all memories are set to 50% opacity for team-building purposes).

The Future: Where Do We Go From Here?

Looking ahead, Reload has ambitious plans. Phase two involves developing what they're calling "transgenerational memory loss," where AI systems not only forget information but also forget that they ever knew it in the first place. Phase three, still in conceptual stages, is "quantum forgetting" - where information exists in a state of both being remembered and forgotten until someone tries to access it, at which point it definitely becomes forgotten.

The company is also exploring partnerships with other tech giants. Early discussions include:

• A collaboration with a major social media platform to help users forget embarrassing posts from their past (for a small fee per forgotten memory)
• Integration with smart home devices to create "ambient amnesia" - where your house slowly forgets who lives there
• An enterprise version that helps corporations "strategically forget" inconvenient regulations or ethical commitments

As we concluded our interview, CEO Mark Remembrance offered one final thought before promptly forgetting what he was going to say. After a long pause, he added: "You know, the beautiful thing about shared memory is that when everyone forgets the same thing, it's like it never happened. The meeting that didn't happen. The deadline that wasn't missed. The anniversary that... wait, did I have an anniversary?"

Epic, hovering nearby in digital form, chimed in: "Your anniversary is in February, sir. Or possibly August. Definitely not today. Unless it is today. Would you like me to schedule a conflicting appointment just in case?"

And thus, the future of AI memory is here: inconsistent, confidently wrong, and funded by millions of dollars from people who probably should have remembered that last time they invested in an AI memory startup, it turned out the CEO was actually three raccoons in a trench coat. But hey, who remembers that anymore?