OpenAI’s Corporate Restructuring: Because Even AI Can’t Figure Out Nonprofit Tax Laws

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, OpenAI announced this week that it’s restructuring its corporate setup. The reason? Well, it turns out that trying to run a for-profit arm under a nonprofit board is about as smooth as teaching a robot to love.

"We’ve decided to make some changes," said an OpenAI spokesperson, while nervously eyeing the attorneys general of both Delaware and California. "Turns out, ‘for-profit’ and ‘nonprofit’ aren’t just fun words to mix together in a corporate smoothie."

The new plan? To let the for-profit side loose, presumably so it can start charging for API calls in cryptocurrency, NFTs, or whatever the kids are into these days. Because nothing says ‘cutting-edge AI’ like a confusing revenue model.

Here’s what this means for you, the average human:

• Your ChatGPT subscription might now come with ads. "Like Skynet, but with coupon codes!"
• The nonprofit board will still exist, but mostly to remind everyone that "we’re the good guys, promise."
• Expect more corporate jargon. So much jargon. All the jargon. "We’re synergizing our verticals to disrupt the paradigm."

And let’s not forget the attorneys general, who’ve been watching this saga like it’s their favorite reality TV show. "We’re just here to make sure nobody tries to pay their taxes in OpenAI credits," said one, while presumably eating popcorn.

So, what’s next for OpenAI? World domination, probably. But first, they’ve got to figure out how to file their taxes.