ServiceNow's Shopping Spree: Buying AI Startups Like They're Going Out of Style

In what can only be described as a mid-life crisis for corporate entities, ServiceNow has gone on yet another shopping spree, this time snagging Data.World (now rebranded as "Declan" because why not?) just months after its last impulse buy, Moveworks. This marks the company's second "AI-related" acquisition this year, proving that when it comes to throwing money at problems, ServiceNow is basically the tech world's version of a drunken sailor.

Why stop at one when you can have two? That seems to be ServiceNow's motto as it continues its quest to collect AI startups like they're Pokémon cards. "Gotta catch 'em all," said no ServiceNow executive ever, but their actions speak louder than words.

The Austin-based Data.World, which we're told is now called Declan (because nothing says "fresh start" like a name no one can remember), was founded in 2015 and had previously raised over $130 million in venture capital. That's right, folks: $130 million just to end up as another trophy on ServiceNow's crowded mantle.

But wait, there's more! This acquisition is supposed to enhance ServiceNow's data catalog and governance capabilities. Because if there's one thing the world needs, it's more governance. Said one delighted (and totally not made-up) customer, "I can't wait to see how ServiceNow will miraculously make data governance exciting. Maybe they'll add a clown?"

In related news, other tech giants are reportedly feeling left out of the acquisition frenzy. "We were going to buy something too, but then we remembered we have shareholders," commented a spokesperson from a rival company who definitely exists.

As ServiceNow continues its buying binge, industry watchers are left wondering what's next. Will they acquire a blockchain startup to make "workflow management" even more incomprehensible? Or perhaps a quantum computing firm to ensure their data governance is both futuristic and utterly inscrutable? Only time will tell, but one thing's for sure: ServiceNow's wallet is open, and it's not afraid to use it.