Shein and Temu Decide US Shoppers Need a 'Financial Workout' with New Price Hikes

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who's been paying attention to the global economy, Shein and Temu have announced they're raising prices for their US customers. Why? Because apparently, we've all been getting too good of a deal, and that's just not how capitalism works.

Starting April 25, your favorite 'I-definitely-don't-need-this-but-it's-only-$2' purchases will now cost slightly more, thanks to President Donald Trump's tariffs on goods shipped from China. The 145% tariff on products made in China is like adding a 'because we can' fee to your impulse buys.

'We’re just helping Americans build character by making them think twice before buying their fifth pair of identical sunglasses,' said a spokesperson for Shein, probably.

And let's not forget the end of the customs exemption that had allowed goods under $800 to enter the U.S. without extra charges. That was like the golden ticket for online shoppers, and now it's gone. Poof. Like your paycheck after you discover a new online store.

But fear not, savvy shoppers! This is just an opportunity to flex those budgeting muscles you've been neglecting. Or, you know, you could always try that radical concept called 'not buying things you don’t need.' Just a thought.

In related news, piggy banks across the nation have been reported crying in anticipation of the increased workload.