Amazon's 'Coincidental' Book Sale: A Masterclass in Corporate 'Support' for Small Businesses

In a move that has shocked absolutely no one, Amazon has announced its Big Book Bonanza, conveniently scheduled to run from April 23 to 28, 2025. What's so special about these dates, you ask? Well, they just happen to coincide perfectly with Independent Bookstore Day, an annual celebration of small, independent bookshops that somehow manage to survive in the shadow of the e-commerce behemoth.

Amazon, known for its subtlety and deep respect for the little guy, claims this timing is purely coincidental. "We just really love books, and what better time to celebrate that love than during a time when independent bookstores are trying to do the same?" said an Amazon spokesperson, presumably while stroking a white cat and laughing maniacally.

The American Booksellers Association (ABA), organizers of Independent Bookstore Day, responded with the grace of a swan trapped in a shopping cart. "We're thrilled that Amazon wants to join in the celebration of books," said a spokesperson, through what we can only imagine were gritted teeth. "It's not like we had anything special planned for that day or anything."

Meanwhile, independent bookstore owners across the country are preparing for the annual tradition of smiling politely while Amazon undercuts their prices by 90%. "It's fine, everything's fine," muttered one owner, as they rearranged their 'Local Businesses Matter' display for the third time that morning.

In related news, Amazon has also announced a new initiative called 'Support Your Local Bookstore... By Buying From Us Instead', which they insist is totally different from their previous initiatives like 'Putting Local Bookstores Out of Business Since 1994'.

As the battle between David and Goliath continues, one can't help but marvel at Amazon's commitment to keeping the spirit of competition alive. After all, what's a little friendly competition if not a multi-billion-dollar corporation accidentally-on-purpose scheduling a sale to overshadow a day meant to celebrate its underdogs?

So, this Independent Bookstore Day, remember: you have a choice. You can support your local bookstore, or you can save $2.37 on that bestseller you've been meaning to read. The choice is yours, America.