Linktree Now Lets You Monetize Your Existence: Because Your Cat Videos Deserve More Than Just Adoration

In a groundbreaking move that has left the internet both amused and slightly concerned, Linktree has rolled out a suite of monetization features that promise to turn every creator into a mini Jeff Bezos. That's right, folks. Your ability to link to your Instagram, TikTok, and that one YouTube video of you unboxing a toaster can now be monetized. Finally, the world makes sense.

The new features include the ability to sell courses (because everyone who's ever taken a selfie is now qualified to teach photography), earn from brand-sponsored links (your soul, but make it fashion), and build shoppable storefronts (where you can sell your dignity in bulk). It's like Amazon, but instead of warehouses, it's built on the fragile egos of influencers.

But wait, there's more! Linktree is also introducing a feature where creators can charge for access to their 'exclusive' content. What's exclusive content, you ask? It's the same content you post everywhere else, but now it's behind a paywall. Genius.

The platform is clearly trying to stand out in a sea of competitors like Beacons and others, but let's be honest. The real competition is seeing who can monetize their life the fastest before the internet collectively realizes we're all just pawns in a giant digital marketing scheme.

In related news, Linktree is also reportedly working on a feature that allows you to monetize your thoughts. Just think about a product, and bam! Affiliate link. The future is here, and it's slightly dystopian.

So, if you've ever dreamed of making money by doing the bare minimum (and let's face it, who hasn't?), Linktree's new features are your golden ticket. Just remember: with great power comes great responsibility. Or in this case, with great laziness comes great profit.