Digg Rises From the Dead Like a Zombie With an iPhone: First Look at the App That’s Definitely Not Too Late

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Digg has decided to rise from the depths of internet obscurity with a brand-new iOS app. Yes, you heard that right. Digg. The same Digg that was last relevant when flip phones were cool. They’ve launched their app to a select group of testers, known as the "Groundbreakers," which sounds less like a group of early adopters and more like a cult that meets in a basement to discuss the merits of dial-up internet.

What’s New? Well, according to Digg, everything. The app promises to deliver a "fresh take" on news aggregation, which we can only assume means they’ve finally figured out how to make their website work on mobile devices. The design is sleek, the interface is intuitive, and the content is… well, it’s still just links to other people’s work. But now with more emojis!

"We’re excited to bring Digg into the modern era," said a spokesperson who may or may not have been held at gunpoint. "Our users have been clamoring for a mobile experience that doesn’t make them want to throw their phone out the window." Bold words for a company that’s been MIA since the Obama administration.

Here’s a quick rundown of what you can expect from the new Digg app:

• The same content you can find anywhere else, but with a Digg logo on it
• A comments section that’s somehow even more toxic than Twitter
• Push notifications for articles you’ll never read
• The faint smell of desperation

In all seriousness, it’s nice to see Digg trying to make a comeback. The internet could always use more places to argue with strangers. But let’s be real: unless they’ve figured out how to make reading the news pay your rent, this is probably just another app you’ll download, open once, and then forget about until it starts sending you creepy "We miss you" emails.

So, will Digg reclaim its former glory? Probably not. But hey, at least they’re trying. And in today’s fast-paced digital world, that’s more than most of us can say.